Another thought on Tim Russert

I can't stop thinking about the loss of Tim Russert because of what can be learned from him and from how the media and general population reacted.  There were some articles and I heard some people being critical of MSNBC for devoting almost five entire days 24/7 to remembering Tim Russert.  While I loved and appreciated the coverage, not everyone did.  I think this is because in our society it is not as acceptable to grieve.

The media was using this time for people to express their grief in a public way and this is not the norm.  Grieving is much more acceptable in other cultures and expected.  Unfortunately, in our society we are expected to "get on with our lives" and "get over it."  In fact, human resource departments even try to quantify the paid time off (PTO) for various deaths--so many days off for the loss of a spouse, child, parent, and different PTO for friends.  We tend to treat death as a "time out" and then the assumption is that we are ready to move on and get back to work.

Grieving is an important part of life and it is not a linear process.  It has been described as "coming in waves."  One minute we might feel fine and then something will happen to trigger memories and then the grief can come again.  While death is a part of life, the grieving process is critical to understand in helping us to move on with life.

MSNBC did us a favor by modeling what should be done more often and I think most people appreciated it.  We would all be more healthy and function more productively if we took the time we needed to grieve losses of any kind (family, friends, jobs).  We would become more compassionate and empathetic with others.

"People won't remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel."  Sometimes we don't have to say anything, but just be there when they need us to go the journey with them.

Comments

[Amy Schmitt]

It almost seems a little counterintuitive to think that grieving can help us be more compassionate and empathetic with others. Grieving is very difficult in our society because we are expected to have positive outlook and keep our heads up. As leaders, showing a little vulnerability and grieving appropriately can show others that we are authentic. Maybe if we actually allow ourselves to grieve, we will be better able to understand what others are going through? It is tough and something I know I can keep working on because we try so hard to just suppress those feelings and act happy--this is not taking care of ourselves holistically.

[Amy Schmitt]

It almost seems a little counterintuitive to think that grieving can help us be more compassionate and empathetic with others. Grieving is very difficult in our society because we are expected to have positive outlook and keep our heads up. As leaders, showing a little vulnerability and grieving appropriately can show others that we are authentic. Maybe if we actually allow ourselves to grieve, we will be better able to understand what others are going through? It is tough and something I know I can keep working on because we try so hard to just suppress those feelings and act happy--this is not taking care of ourselves holistically.

[Sara Hugley]

I think absolutely it is uncumbent that one go through the grieving process upon the death of a close friend or family member. However, that being said, in my opinion, it is important to get back into a usual, structured routine that can bring comfort throughout the grieving process. Being alone, wallowing in grief can lead one into a dark hole that makes it difficult to regain an equilibrium.

[Sara Hugley]

I'm sorry. I meant incumbent*.

[Ashley Ellingson]

Grief is a hard thing to deal with. I agree with Sara, that it is important to live daily life again, however, doing it differently than before. I have lost loved ones in my life and I have found it helpful to try and honor them in my everyday life. My grandma passed away about 12 years ago and she was one of the best people I have ever met. Although I was relatively young when she died, I still knew the type of woman she was. I try and remember her by trying to have an impact on the people in my life, like she had on the people in her life. Often when people grieve, they feel sorry for themselves, but why would others want to console you when you are already doing that for yourself? If anything, death should teach us to live life to the fullest!