Jann's Blog

Questions Not Answers

We talk about how questions are important rather than the answers.  I have been learning more about this in my spiritual prayer group that is led by a spiritual director.  After a person shares their story with the group, the group can ask questions, but can not give answers. The purpose is for the group to ask questions that will help the presenter tap into their inner wisdom. The questions cannot be worded as advice or instructions such as, “Have you considered …” or “Do you think asking …would help?”

This is a difficult task because we tend to be conditioned to give answers.  But when you take the time to word the questions thoughtfully, I have been amazed at the insights gained from the questions.  I find myself continuing throughout the week to think about the questions.  Isn't this what life is about anyway? 

• How might I use this technique to be a better parent, friend, person? 

That is the question I am pondering.

A Change of Perspective

When I was in El Salvador, there was a quote that kept going through my mind.  I have used this quote in my diversity work for years.  It comes from the book Liberation Theology:  An Introductory Guide by Robert McAfee Brown:  "Where we stand determines what we see."

There was a scene in the movie Dead Poets Society where the teacher played by Robin Williams stands on the desk to make point about perspective.  When he stands on the desk, everything and everyone looks different.  As leaders, we should try to gain a new perspective by trying to see things in a new way.  When we do this, we are demonstrating compassion and empathy for what others may see, think, or believe.  How can we "stand" in a different place in order to have a new perspective? 

More on El Salvador

As 15 of us were standing up in the back of a truck traveling the countryside in El Salvador, I kept thinking about this song by Joan Osbourne:  One of Us.  The lyrics kepts going through my head and I could hear the tone as I looked at the faces of the children, as I listened to the stories being shared.  What if God was one of us?  I could not stop thinking about this song.

Liberation Theology

In El Salvador, Liberation Theology is alive and well.  The Theology of Liberation is ... an attempt to link theology with social justice in an intellectual and practical sense simultaneously.  It challenges the church to rethink its very mission and reason for being in a changing world, a world of oppression, exploitation, a world of poverty affecting millions of people across the globe.

There are four ideas central to the movement:

• The preferential option for the poor.  This means that the church must align itself with poor people as they demand justice.
• Institutional violence.  Liberationists see a hidden violence in social arrangements that create hunger and poverty.
• Structural sin.  Liberation theologians argue that there is a social dimension that is more than the sum of individual acts of sin. 
• Orthopraxis.  This term was coined by liberation theologians as a counterpoint to insistence on orthodoxy, meaning correct belief.  Liberation theologians argue that what is most fundamental is not just correct belief, but correct action--that is, an effort leading to human liberation.

While some of this is not easy to understand, the people in El Salvador whom we met believe strongly that religion should not be used to oppress and I agree.  We went to the sites where Archbishop Oscar Romero was killed and to where four priests and several nuns were killed all because they spoke out against oppression in the church.  It is only when we know the atrocities that we can do something about not letting these things continue.

The Director of Young at Heart

Listen to the interview with the director of Young at Heart.  He explains better than I can why this movie is so important for people to see. 

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This movie is all about sage-ing. 

Another thought on Tim Russert

I can't stop thinking about the loss of Tim Russert because of what can be learned from him and from how the media and general population reacted.  There were some articles and I heard some people being critical of MSNBC for devoting almost five entire days 24/7 to remembering Tim Russert.  While I loved and appreciated the coverage, not everyone did.  I think this is because in our society it is not as acceptable to grieve.

The media was using this time for people to express their grief in a public way and this is not the norm.  Grieving is much more acceptable in other cultures and expected.  Unfortunately, in our society we are expected to "get on with our lives" and "get over it."  In fact, human resource departments even try to quantify the paid time off (PTO) for various deaths--so many days off for the loss of a spouse, child, parent, and different PTO for friends.  We tend to treat death as a "time out" and then the assumption is that we are ready to move on and get back to work.

Grieving is an important part of life and it is not a linear process.  It has been described as "coming in waves."  One minute we might feel fine and then something will happen to trigger memories and then the grief can come again.  While death is a part of life, the grieving process is critical to understand in helping us to move on with life.

MSNBC did us a favor by modeling what should be done more often and I think most people appreciated it.  We would all be more healthy and function more productively if we took the time we needed to grieve losses of any kind (family, friends, jobs).  We would become more compassionate and empathetic with others.

"People won't remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel."  Sometimes we don't have to say anything, but just be there when they need us to go the journey with them.

Forever Young

In the documentary film Young at Heart, there is a scene in where the singing group performs at a prison.  It is worth watching this film for this particular scene.  This is such a feel good movie based on real life.  It is wonderful. 

Please try to make it a priority to support this film. 

I have certainly shared my opinion. Now let me know what you think. Thanks.

Why We Can't Get Enough of Tim Russert

Peggy Noonan had a wonderful editorial in the weekend edition of the Wall Street Journal dated June 21-22, 2008 titled "A Life's Lesson."  While some people started to complain that the coverage had gone on too long, Noonan reminded us that it was a beautiful tribute.  Personally, I found myself mesmerized by the coverage and I could not get enough of it.

Regardless of one's age, there were life lessons to be gained from people of all ages.  As Noonan says, "the media for four days told you the keys to a life well lived, the things you actually need to live life well, and without which it won't be good.  Among them:

• taking care of those you love and letting them know they're loved; which involves self-sacrifice
• holding firm to God, to your religious faith, no matter how high you rise or love you fall.  This involves guts, and self-discipline, and active attention to developing and refining a conscience to whose promptings you can respond.
• honoring your calling or profession by trying to do it within honorable work, which takes hard effort and a willingness to master the ethics of your field.
• And enjoying life."

Noonan reminds us that one of the greatest statements was by Chuck Todd who when asked why Tim stuck out from the pack said, "He was normal!"  My question is this:  Why is it so hard to be normal?  Why is normal so rare? 

As the media reminded us for several days, Tim had strong values, great virtues, and he loved to share them.  He was the definition of authentic.  We can all learn from him.  But I think there is more to this.  Tim was a sage.  He loved to learn and to share.  He gave generously and kindly.  He loved people and they returned that love.  He respected people and they respected him.  People sought him out for his wisdom and he loved the role of a sage.  We are going to miss him because he meant so much to so many people. 

"When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."  The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

Where in the world is Jann Freed?

Just like Matt Lauer, I have been a world away and unable to blog.  For a week in June, I was part of a church delegation to El Salvador.  This trip left me with numerous images, thoughts, impressions, and insights that I will be sharing in various blog posts when the spirit moves me.

If there are regular readers out there, I wanted you to know where I have been.  It will take me months to analyze the experience and I plan to use my blog to help me in this process.  Thanks in advance for listening. 

Young at Heart

If you want to understand more about sage-ing, go to the movie Young at Heart.  It is a documentary about a singing group of about 30 people where the average age is around 80!  They are from Massachusetts and they practice so that they can tour.  The movie follows them as they live life.

I went because I am "into" saging (as those of you who read my blog know by now), but I took my 22 year old son.  Before we went, I was worried that he might not like it so I warned him it was about "older people."  He said that he did not care and that he would go with me anyway.

About halfway in the movie, I leaned over and asked him if he liked it.  He said, "Yes, very much."  In the car going home, I asked him why he liked it and I thought his comments were poignant.  "It was inspiring to see older people really enjoying life.  They were happy and positive.  I liked their attitude.  It makes me realize it is possible.  The scene in the prison was moving."

My mission is to help people get on the journey to elderhood sooner rather than later.  We need to respect our elders and elders need to aspire to be respected.  There is so much we can learn from each other.  If we are fortunate, aging is inevitable.  We need to not let this youth oriented culture get us down.  We need to celebrate our life experiences just as they do in Young at Heart!